I feel like my chest will explode.
I can't breathe.
but I can't cry,
because everywhere I turn there's people,
but I can't let them see,
because this pain is their pain,
it's the pain they've given me.
How do you tell someone that they are tearing you apart?
How do you tell them their hapiness is your pain.
their love is your hurt.
I've lost a best friend to a relationship.
I've lost a relationship to a friend.
It's twisted and backwards,
It doesn't make sense.
And so my heart aches,
my chest hurts
I feel like my my head is spinning out of controle
it's spinning so fast my heart can't keep up,
it hurts.
I'm sick.
my stomach clenches.
I actually want to throw up,
maybe then all this will somehow go away.
maybe it will get rid of the pain
maybe if I vomit out all that is in me,
I won't have anything left inside,
maybe then it won't hurt.
maybe then I won't feel every tear in my heart.
but then again, maybe it's true that it's better to "hurt than feel nothing at all".
It doesn't matter though, because I can't.
I feel like a million tiny shards of glass are tearing my heart to shreds,
I feel each individual crystal peirce the flesh of my heart,
each time I breathe, each time my heart flexes and straigns for life, they dig in.
It hurts.
It's not even just mental pain, it's physical,
it's literally tearing at me,
it's mentaly tearing at me,
every part of me hurts.
I want to scream, I want to run,
I want to break down and cry till I stop breathing,
then maybe my heart will stop striving and all this pain will go away.
