Stupidity

Sometimes I look out into a crowd of faces and feel lost. Stupid people make me feel stupid with their stupidity and their stupidity becomes mine.

-A random scribble I found from: [May 2010]-

Life Since Christ

Joy, overflowing.

Drowned in Peace.

Rivers of Life, flowing.

Love, bestowing.

Life changed

Heart overwhelmed.

God, you're to wonderful to me.

Dazed

I'm dazed,

In a haze,

My mind won't stop.

What to do?

Where to go?

Who to love?

And then my heart stops.

-A random scribble I found from:[May 2010]-

Distortion

I'm back from my travels; 15 days, 41 hours on a bus, a 6 hour flight,3 states, and more hours driving then I care to count, later.... I'm home. Of course after over two weeks of being gone, I had to check facebook before it exploded ha-ha - after such a long time,things do pile up! The main source of notifications were picture tagging because, obviously, a lot of pictures were taken during my adventures. Fun times, for the most part, but as I look through the pictures I find myself increasingly horrified at the way I look in pictures. Now they say that pictures distort, and it's at times like this I sincerely hope so. But what is more disturbing than a distorted veiw of yourself in photo, is the feeling of distortion upon returning home from being away so long, and after intense emotional and physical strain, coming back to normal life. Disorented. Exausted. Overwhelmed by emotion, by pictures, by images and memories in your mind, by all that you're coming back to, by all that is now part of you because of your experiances while you were gone, by this new side of you that no one back home can truly understand. That you aren't sure you truly understand. And there's no time to figure it out.Life back home has went on in the same way, while you're swimming in a sea of experiances, some you can't explain, and none that people here can understand, because they weren't there. Life went on the same here, and it's shoving it's wet nose in your face expecting you to be the same, but you're not. Your clothes smell different, your eyes are deeper, your face drawn from travel, your body changed from all the different foods and routines since you've been gone. Life back home bawks at you, it's senses in shock as it realizes your changed, but like any faithful hound it wants to be your friend still and rushes back at you like nothing has changed. But it has. Life back home forces you to embrace it, it propells you back into your old life, but you'll never be the same. You love everything about home, you love Life back home, but you look at the pictures, you look at yourself, and you feel distorted. When something is distorted, it's changed. The shape shifts, things become blurred, they don't always make sense, and sometimes they never really fit back into the place they where. So today, I came back to Life back home, and like any faithful hound it pressed it's wet nose in my face.

Embarking

Tomorrow is another goodbye. I'm leaving on a series of adventures tomorrow that will take me from home for a few weeks, almost a month. First Louisville, Kentucky (which should be interesting I think, quite the different culture there, or so I believe, but I haven't been there so... we'll see), then Detroit and possibly Chicago, then Portland and Seaside. I think you all know what I'm doing there so I will spare you the gory - and boring- details but I am very excited. I must admit though, right now - finishing my last packing the night before and trying to get my MP3 loaded and ready for the trip, and after working for most of the day and getting little or no sleep the past few days- I'm just feeling plane exausted. And I haven't even left yet! Tomorow should prove to be quite the long day I think; I have to leave early for commissioning in the first service and then will be on a bus with a bunch of crazy junior high kids for 40+ hours and running low on sleep.... God give me grace. And I don't say that lightly. I'm so tired right now, and so frazzled